Posts Tagged ‘judgemental attitude’

Stacey Hammons’ message “The Pitfalls of Judging One Another” at Women’s Ministries’ Alive After 5 on Tuesday evening, March 16, 2010, in the Warehouse reminded me of three things that I have in my home.

I have a crucifix to remind me of Jesus Christ’s sufferings. I have a cross to remind me of Christ’s resurrection. And I have a boomerang to remind me what I throw out will come back to me.

When I judge someone in an unbiblical fashion, someone will judge me in an unbiblical fashion. It might not be the same person, the same day, the same situation: but I will be judged — balanced with little mercy or understanding. And the consequences of my wrongly judging someone is like a soaring boomerang that returns to me, but it does not land gently by my feet, but painfully on my head. And my sense of peace (God’s peace) is disrupted, diminished, or destroyed.

That’s the pitfall of judging one another. It comes back to us and hurts.

Boomerang: “an act or utterance that backfires on its originator” (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11^th Edition, second definition).

That’s the subject matter Stacey addressed with a remarkable sense of gentle confrontation. The boomerang scripture she took us to was Matthew 7:1-2 in Eugene H. Peterson’s The Message Remix: The Bible in Contemporary Language:

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults — unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging” (Matthew 7:1-2 MSG).

Here’s more on AA5 — March 16^th edition:

After refreshments and door prizes, which included “Divine Design” t-shirts from the recent Women’s Retreat in Branson, as well as a beautiful and bountiful purse, whose winning ticket #904 was mine, Stacey spoke on the hazards of judging one another. While she never used the phrase, “It’s sin,” I think we picked that up.

We were cautioned against comparing ourselves (see Galatians 6:4-5). Comparisons make us feel discouraged when we fall short of another (in any area). And comparisons make us feel superior (or full of ourselves) when we rise above another (in any area). Furthermore, constant comparisons lead to chronic negativity.

Stacey gave us four suggestions to help us steer clear of a judgmental attitude:

1.  Assume the best of others.

We are to transform our thinking (Romans 12:2). Gossip has got to go (Proverbs 20:19; Romans 1:29b; 1 Timothy 5:13b).

2.  Hit the pause button.

It is possible, and necessary, to bridle or control our tongues. It’s healthy to think before we speak.

On a related note, we have often been told to “speak the truth in love.” If that is carried to excess, though, we could “rip someone apart.” That’s not healthy. James, chapter 3 tells us that.

And there’s Ephesians 4:29, which Stacey read from two translations:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29 NIV).

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them (Ephesians 4:29 NLT).

While some people have difficulty controlling their tongues, the harmonizers have trouble speaking up. Some of us — in our desire to keep the peace — might erroneously keep silent during a conflict and let a matter simmer in a stew of bitterness. This is an instance where silence is not golden.

3. Become a better listener.

A challenge was presented: Listen and don’t interject our opinions. Be interested in the other person, whether you agree with them or not. Once again, we were challenged to “stop before we speak.”

4.  Pass out gum instead of judgment.

Gum can serve as a tangible symbol: a reminder to help us be free of passing judgment on others. And each of us was given a pack of gum, because it is better to chew gum, rather than chew each other out.

Stacey added that we could even start a “Passing Out Gum” campaign. After all, we probably know someone who has divorce, death, or another source of pain in their lives. So, why give each other a hard time? Life is hard enough, as is (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2; 1 Peter 4:12-13).

I liked Stacey’s last words before we departed, as I grabbed my newly-won door prize: my super-sized black, metallic, hobo bag, which could probably hold 2,000 packs of gum.

We were challenged to become our own best allies.

And, by gum, I had another parting thought. Not only will my big, new, fashionable purse hold 2,000 packs of gum (that’s 10,000 sticks) — to remind me to pass out gum instead of judgment — I bet God had me win that bountiful bag to bury my boomerang in. And keep it there.

By Linda Scisson